Straight from the Pig's mouth

Time to rethink things

2009-01-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

I started off my year with a loss. Though to some it may not seem like a huge one, it devastated me.

Though losses like these are a part of life, it hurts even more when you know it was your own doing that caused it. Mistakes made again and again, taking for granted that you would always have what you want.

This year is the year to change. I may not be perfect, but I would like to think I was a pretty good person back then. I strived to be virtuous in every way that I can, but somehow instead of fighting to be better I let myself slide over these recent years.

2009 will be a year of reawakening. I hope things have opened my eyes sufficiently that I don't lose the message of my mistakes of 2008. My eyes are set on my goal but yes, old habits die hard. I can only hope and pray, and try and set constant reminders for myself. With every event that occurs this year, hopefully it will be an indication of self improvement.

I want to be a good person, the best person I can be.

How does it go?

2009-01-06T02:22:00.001-08:00

How is life supposed to go?

People say, move through life with no regrets, but learn from every mistake you make.

A part of me thinks, " yeah that sounds right". My dad always tells me, make your decision, don't regret regret, regret no use.

An even bigger part of me regrets everything, a regret that is swallowing me whole and I'm dwelling in a pit of despair.

Mistakes so big I can't believe I was blind to them. Looking back now it's easy to think " you fool, how obvious was that, SO FUCKING OBVIOUS you were throwing everything away".

It's hard to recreate the feelings of that moment in time. The same way if you suffer great pain (emotional, broke your leg, gave birth , etc) , years ahead when you think back it doesn't seem so bad.

I can't do anything to the past. I have no control over the future. And the present has left me wishing there was no future.

Second wind of freedom

2008-12-31T00:24:00.000-08:00

So the holidays started more than a month ago, yet I decided to confine myself to an internship in KL.

Note: Internship. Not a holiday.

First couple of days I actually felt a wave of depression wash over me. Like there was no purpose to life, if what we're put on earth here for is mindless hours of being virtually human drones. I get home and I eat, shower, hang around the house a bit and tidur. Repeat process the next day.

I got used to it after that, and the ray of hope for me was the end of the internship drawing near so I got out of that initial depressive emo state fast. But imagine, when I graduate, that ray of hope doesn't exist. You can't wait for the work term to finish, there's no such thing. You stop working when you're old and retired. SO THAT'S IT FOR YOUR YOUTH? MY YOUTH ENDS AS SOON AS I GRADUATE? fantastic la. Enough to send anyone into depression right.

And sure people mumble stuff about " oh you still have weekendsm, after work, etc". I may be greedy or whatever, but no it's not enough. So after work, the few hours before sleep, that you call enough? Nope. You're shit tired, you have enough energy to eat and shower and maybe chill with your family before you pow kong.

I guess it really boils down to what you do and whether you enjoy doing it to give you a different form of satisfaction and joy in life not derived from fun/family/friends.

Being in an office; NOT FOR ME.

Can I please stop time to realise my dreams, no matter how silly they may seem to people, or how unreachable they are, I'm getting older and it seems like my life is destined to head towards decades of being in an office.

Anyway, second wave of freedom starts in half an hour. My internship ends today and now I can enjoy the real taste of freedom, possibly for one of the last few times. Goodbye internship!

home at last

2008-06-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

Ahh, day 2 in Malaysia and it is goooodd..

It's great to just chill at home and be with family. Nothing better :)

Before the big friendscapade begins!

Cary's birthday bash this Saturday, a big '60s theme party where you're either Uptown or Downtown. Cary naturally chose Uptown for me and I'm excited about it, see all my friends again.

It seems like I never left, but I'd have to face the pain of leaving again in 3 weeks.

Time flies by when you're having fun right.

Sigh, had a bad haircut yesterday, he gave me the fringe of a childish lala mui.

So much for that, now I just look like my cousin Caryn.

Possible wisdom tooth removal this week. How lah, it's surgery! NOooo!!!

exam bleack

2008-06-13T03:37:00.001-07:00

Tension is high this exam season.

It starts tomorrow but I wish it was all over yesterday.

I keep looking forward to going back to KL straight after the holidays. But I sometimes forget what awaits me there is scary too (eg: removing wisdom tooth, pressure of losing my winter fat)

I can't get closure on certain issues, I'm trying to work on it. Maybe I'll have time to after the exams.

Stayed up last night thinking about the future, about all the what if's and maybes.This is all just too depressing. God help me I will have not smiled and laughed for real by the end of these 2 weeks.I just need this to be over.

Today holds meaning which I can't divulge. And yet the meaning isn't meant to be there anymore.

1095 days. Not all of it was terrible. Not in my eyes anyway.

exam bleack

2008-06-12T20:02:00.001-07:00

Tension is high this exam season.

It starts tomorrow but I wish it was all over yesterday.

I keep looking forward to going back to KL straight after the holidays. But I sometimes forget what awaits me there is scary too (eg: removing wisdom tooth, pressure of losing my winter fat)

I can't get closure on certain issues, I'm trying to work on it. Maybe I'll have time to after the exams.

Stayed up last night thinking about the future, about all the what if's and maybes.

This is all just too depressing. God help me I will have not smiled and laughed for real by the end of these 2 weeks.

I just need this to be over.

Today holds meaning which I can't divulge. And yet the meaning isn't meant to be there anymore.

1095 days. Not all of it was terrible. Not in my eyes anyway.

Ahem, just a rant

2008-04-23T06:38:00.001-07:00

So, this blogging thing really doesn't work for me. Considering I abandon it after a couple of posts. But ah what the heck.

Here I am in the same boat again, crazy rushing cramming for assignments and exams. This is not how this semester is supposed to turn out, but yes I am the procrastination queen.

In fact that's what I'm doing right now. Attempting to blog while reading/not reading Regression.

Anyway,

What I'm looking forward to is that flight back home in winter. Ahhh..... KL.

I've been ebay-ing a lot (stupid stupid) nowadays, eating alot of junk food, NOT exercising. So basically I'm just a disgusting lump right now, but when in KL...

Somehow everything is good. I'm all slim. Food taste great yet I lose the Australia weight. Friends are good. Family is better. And just experience everything I know and love.

I've got a new job bartending at my fave club in Canberra, so woohoo to that. I'll be a master mixtress in no time. But it's probably gonna cost me loads of beauty sleep so I'm not sure if it's worth it.

I'll just be a master mixtress then maybe quit ?

Ah well.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. Hmm...

I think I just wanted to talk for like a few minutes, even if it is technically to myself or Internet Explorer.

I need to, get rid of all this junk food. In my room.

I finished off a 1kg bag of M&Ms in less than a week. Boo to that.

I ate like 2 bags of Doritos in 2 days. Boo to that as well.

I've been eating loads of fatty food, like duck rice and I'm the sort of person who never removes that thick layer of fat and skin.

Will attempt to be healthy soon. I don't wanna look too worse off when I get on that plane to KL.

Last day!

2008-02-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

Last day in KL!

Tears ain't a falling yet but I'm on an emotional roller coaster, one minute I'm deliriously happy, the next just fucking emo.

Being with my wonderful family and friends has made these 3 months the best way to pump myself up for the tough year ahead.

It's very hard to say goodbye to these people in my life, but I hope that I have support when I get back to Canberra.

I will always remember Phuket Crew and the summer we spent together. Where the laughter never stops, the need for sleep ignored, and the love ever flowing.

Good things don't last, but this is one group that will run through my mind for a long time. When I need a pick me up in Canberra, I'll just sit back, think of the good times, smile, laugh at an inside joke, text a Phuket member, or look through our hundreds of pictures.

I love you Phuket Crew.

Chinese New Year

2008-02-05T19:18:00.000-08:00

It's CNY again, so happy to spend it with family this year. Although you wonderful people in Canberra do make it bearable and less homesick-ness but yeah nothing beats family.

I intend to :

Collect loads of angpow of course
BOND with family but yet still ignore the kids
Take loads of pictures and videos, preserve all these memories and all that
Not gamble
Spend quality time with people that mean alot to me
Hopefully dance my ass off at a club sometime this week because I'm just itching to
Go to Malacca ? maybe :)

How to CNY spirit in KL you tell me ? Sometimes you just need to do the whole "bundle the family into the car and drive 3 hours to the kampung then isolate the family there with nothing else to do but eat, watch Astro and go to the lousy kampung mall".

In KL, CNY seems like any other normal day except you go for family dinner. But you do that once every few months anyway. And how is it CNY when you still have the option of going out with your friends instead of spamming time with your family?

Weird. CNY seems a tad less special nowadays. But still love it.

How do I go on

2008-01-27T04:02:00.000-08:00

Lord, give me the strength for this new year.

How do I go on from here?

Decisions I've made only serve to destroy myself and wipe out all happiness that I have.

Turn back time to when I could smile. Turn back time to where the worries of life seemed bearable with someone to walk beside me.

How do I go on from here?

Please give me a sign, Lord. Any sign at all.

I'm willing time to stand still, let me forever remain in January 2008.

I love my family and my friends and they are what I need. I need to stay in KL.

If only I could stop time.

Pressure

2008-01-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

I feel so pressure to post right now because Gene decided to link my blog. My non-existent blog. But this gives me a reason to make it an "existent" blog right.

I know declare it.... an existent blog.

And if you, person who's reading my blog, are in any way remotely interested in what I have to blog about, why I can't deny you that right.

Only one thing. I'm almost computer illiterate. I don't know how to operate a blog. That's why my blog only got words. No pictures. No c-box. Cos I only know how to type.

Help me out yeah. Especially you, Gene.

A Levels ends on a sweet note

2006-08-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

Today I went for the photoshoot in college, which took under an hour. Quite pointless really, I only got to take the group photo and not the individual ones, darn it. But while I was filling up the release form, the cameraman turned towards me and took a picture of me which turned out really well. Hope I can attain it from the college.

Straight after that I rushed over to Coffee Bean. It was my first day working with Francis, our new manager, even though he has been here for a week. It was really nice, only me, Francis, Nick and Damien. Perfecto. It sucked at first, because the moment I got there I had to put in the new stock. Yuck I hate doing that.

Hong Jin came over to pass me the Hotel Costes CD with Valerie. He and the, er... either M15 or the Kohs, were going to Shogun for lunch. After lunch, he brought ALL of them to Coffee Bean,haha. Now I'm just so tired, I hardly ever take breaks during work, so I'm just wiped out now.

Tomorrow going to Puteri Gunung Ledang with Hong Jin, Pui Ee, and Valerie. Hope it'll be good.

yesterday's post:

Today was just excellent. I went for a short so called job interview in the morning before heading over to college with Mummy to collect my final A Levels results. When I got to the main block, the queue was insane. Even so, I wanted to wait for Jia Liang to get there so that we could collect our results together. I had little chats with some people while waiting, till I got hold of him on the phone just to find out he just woke up. So I went ahead and collected it.

I held on to the results for some time without looking at it, as I really wanted to share the unveiling with Jia Liang. After calling him a few more times, he snapped at me on the phone. I was a bit taken aback, I felt a little hurt. But it was just due to him fighting with his mum, as usual.

I couldn't hold it in any longer, Pui Ee and a whole bunch of people were beaming with their 4 A's and the pressure was mounting upon me. Mummy wanted to leave, and on our way out I hurriedly rushed out to the side to look at the transcript. Looking back at me were 4 A's. The feeling of relief, of joy, it was priceless.

Mummy straight away called Papa while I rushed back into the building to tell dear Pui Ee. It was then that it dawned on me that Pui Ee would be leaving the next week for Singapore. At that moment I knew I was going to miss her terribly. My temporary best friend. Although I hope we'll be good friends for a very long time.

Sadly, it was not all good news within the threesome. Hong Jin came shortly after and we found out he only obtained 1 A and the rest are B's . Thankfully he has already gained admission into the uni of his choice and this would not affect him. But it would have been so nice for us to celebrate. Zyang on the other hand, got 3 A's and 1 B. He looked quite happy even though he only needed 2 marks to get straight A's!

The big blow came when Jia Liang finally got there to take his results. Mummy left me there to be with him. He refused to look at his results and would not let me look at them either. On the way to our car I was a bit pissed off, though I can't remember at what. Liang kept asking me what was wrong and I just kept saying it was because I wanted to see his results. While getting into the car, I was so touched when he looked at me and handed over his results over the top of the car. I don't know why, but it was a romantic moment for me. Like he would let me see it even if he didn't want me to.

He warned me not to betray with any signs of emotion on my face as I read the results. Liang was really worried he failed Lit but he thought that he glimpsed a B beside his Law when he received the results. My heart dropped when I looked at the slip. I was overjoyed that he passed Lit with an E but there it was, the cursed U beside his Law. He looked at me, and I told him he passed Lit. He was so happy on the way to TC's apartment but I kept asking him to please look at the results. I repeated my request several times that it dawned on him. As Teng Chang got into the car, Liang looked at me and said, " I failed Law is it ".

Answering his question was so painful. I couldn't cough out the word. Liang took the slip and scanned through it. His brain had those self-protecting mechanism, he couldn't see it. He was like , " I dont see Law anywhere ". TC took over and scanned through his results. My poor boy. How it must have broken his heart. I wish I could do something about it, but I feel completely helpless.

We went to Bangsar Village to Delicious to have lunch as the middle coffee shop was closed. Very expensive but it was good. Asha Gill walked in while we were dining, which excited Liang a bit haha. We then headed to BSC to meet up with Ian Soo, Adrian etc. after dropping of TC. I then followed Mum to 1u, and then homeward bound.

I took a half an hour nap before Hong Jin called me. Pui Ee and he were at Laundry, the Curve and asked me to come. Papa dropped me there where we just had a great time chilling together and laughing. I had a Cosmopolitan, which I hated. We lay on this sofa bed thingy which was really great for the 3 of us. Evan was there later and I spoke to her for awhile.

So that's the whole summary of the day, have to go to sleep now. Photoshoot at 10 am for the high achievers of the A Levels exams or something. Oh well.

Phyllis here we come

2006-03-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, a long long day. Just got home an hour ago, after 6 hours of classes, 2 & ½ half hours of LAN, and a further 2 & ½ hours of shuttling around mindlessly “completing” the LAN project. Nevertheless it was a pretty okay day. People in my LAN group turned out to be pretty nice people. I guess my conception of Chinese speaking people are slightly skewed.

Tomorrow Student Council are going to Phyllis and Precious. Now why do I feel like we’re on a never ending road with constant charity stops? Because we are! It’s getting a bit tiresome, the whole of Student Council shuttling around in two cars going to every home ever built. Fine, it’s only to three charities. But all in a row, I’m getting pretty fed up. Of course, it’s for a good cause so I’ll definitely stick to it.

I don’t know what to expect for Phyllis tomorrow. Would I be comfortable? I hope so. I hope I can fulfill the role of joy-bringer, the visitor who successfully entertains the old folks. We shall see.

..........

2006-03-01T06:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was quite a fun activity filled day. Straight after school, I bundled in to a car with Jia Liang’s friends, heading to Bangsar Shopping Centre for a few hours of bowling fun. I was a bit uneasy, anticipating the rented bowling shoes and the unfamiliar company, as I haven’t exactly spent real time together with most of them before. I had a bad start, only scoring 25 points in my first frame. Man, my bowling sure was rusty. After awhile I gradually got the hang of it. I even beat Jia Liang in my last frame! The others joined us after awhile, Kevin, Charlene, Zhi Yang, Jessie. All was good.

After bowling, I rushed home to get ready for yoga instead. Jian Wen wanted me to come for a trial class at the yoga centre he goes to. I’ve always been enthusiastic about trying out yoga, as I’ve learnt of all of its benefits. Jian brought Ian along for the trial class too. Yoga proved itself right to me, it was a non-strenuous session which indeed relaxed and energized me. I felt so awake after the session. I’m hoping to bring Mummy for a trial lesson, hopefully she would see its benefits and we could join the class.

Today however, things were on a more somber note as I found out from Jia Liang that Kevin’s dad passed away the night before. I was stunned, I never imagined something like that could happen just today when I gaily spent the day before with Kevin. He was all laughs and joke at the bowling alley yesterday that to think that he lost someone so close to him on the same day is shocking. I pray to God that He will give Kevin comfort and help him and his family through this hard time. I feel so sad for Kevin, I could not think of what I could do for him. I just want to give him a big hug and pray for him. I don’t know what else there is to do that could be of any help to him now.

This was real jolt to the senses, when we once again realize how quickly life can be robbed of us. Every moment spent together is priceless. I wished Kevin had some sort of warning yesterday so that he could have spent the day at home instead. But not everyone gets warnings I know. God be with him I pray.

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

2006-02-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year was great. Days filled with family bonding. I got quite a lot of angpow this year, much more than Jun, although I think its due to him keeping to himself and the computer the whole time. He didn’t really come along on our visitations so he might have missed a few angpows there.

Jia Liang came over yesterday, we haven’t seen each other for about 4 days. But as usual all he did here was fall asleep, again. I can never remember a time we spent together that doesn’t involve him knocking out for a couple of hours. Sigh, adorable and annoying at the same time.

The other day me and Jia Liang ate at Vietnam Kitchen for lunch, although we had it the night before with the Nerd Gang. Who should we bump into but dear Wei Shen. Haha, he is the same boy that left for Aussie last year. That gentle demeanor of his, the soft low voice. I do miss him. We didn’t talk really, just said hi. He straightaway introduced himself to Jia Liang, which earned him a lot of brownie points, Jia Liang was raving about him the rest of the day.

We went back to Teluk Anson on the third day, all was well. We went to Fajar, finally. Although I have no idea why I want to go there in the first place. It is really a depressing place actually, to me at least. I got a cheap Chinese top there though. When we left on the same day, Ah Ma gave us loads of yummy goodies. Haha trust her to do that for us. Nga Koo, kuih bahulu, love letters. She even bought another brand of Dahfa for us. Yay. We had lunch and dinner there, and the food was fabulous. She is the best cook ever! My very own Jamie Oliver.

The days haven’t been very eventful, so nothing much to report. My appetite is lost somewhere, I don’t get a craving for food much, yet I stuff myself with it. Oh well.

Exam stress....... but there's still hope

2006-01-13T04:58:00.000-08:00

Sigh, after two days of exams in a row, today was a well-awarded break. Just a little time to catch my breath in the midst of all the exam hoo-hah. Yesterday was especially tiring, with two exams in a day. We started off with Physics Practical, which stressed me to the end, seeing as I had not enough time to complete the paper properly. I was doubting my answers, but too bad, I had no time to fix it. After that stressing period, I had quarantine to look forward too. Oh joy.

In quarantine, it was havoc, the noise level was at a constant high level. Nevertheless, I knew that would not affect me, but my weariness caught on. It seems that the stress caused in the Physics Practical has sucked dry a large portion of my energy, the backup I was counting on to keep me going for the Mechanics paper. As I was doing the Mechanics questions in quarantine, my frustration built as gradually I started getting more and more wrong answers. I knew my limits and this one flashed a big warning sign. I was worried about the consequences of me being so strained and no longer alert. I knew sleep was the answer but where would I get it? In the reading room? I highly doubt so.

Just as I was looking around the room towards the end of our quarantine, I caught Jin Soon’s eye. He waved and I waved back. I mouthed with some hand motions, “ Can I go your house and sleep? “ . surprisingly he mouthed back “ Ok.” I was stunned for a moment, it was an unbelievably sweet gesture, seeing that we’re not actually close and had never had real proper conversations sans a big group. But I know Jin Soon is a real sweet and caring guy and I’m so thankful for him.

Though I didn’t fall asleep in his house, the rest that I got was priceless. I could feel that my mind was all clear and I was no longer weary. Mechanics paper went great, I could answer all the questions, although this semester I know I haven’t been so religious in paying attention in class as I normally would have been. I owe it all to Jin Soon, and most importantly God’s grace. Wow, it all worked out well.

Other than that, nothing much has happened. Today wasn’t a good study day. I think I let the rest get to me by letting my laziness overcome my behavior. Oh well, tomorrow will, hopefully, be better. Today is my and sweet Jia Liang’s 7th month anniversary. Yay us.

another dull study day

2006-01-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

Nothing interesting is happening nowadays. Everyday it's wake up, dilly dally, study a little, watch TV alot, eat, sleep. Argh can't wait for exams to be over. My eyes aren't cooperating, which makes it that teeny bit tougher too. Sigh.

Jia has been getting pissy these past few days, he owes it to not being able to see me. I can't do much about it as stuff keeps cropping up, I have to study, Papa's at home, etc. What am I to do right? Besides I guess we shouldn't be seeing each other so often as we really need to take a whole bunch of our time to study. But I do miss him so. Sigh.

As it is January, I am quite eager to check out the new intake. I actually get like this at every intake, anxious to see if the new intake brings in fresh meat aka hotties or any potential competition. We shall see, as tomorrow I'm heading back to college for a little revision class. Hmmm... this should be interesting. A good deal of primming should be done tomorrow, I do want to look good when I walk into a room full of new people to meet. Maybe a few potential friends in the crowd? I hope.

I've been putting back on the weight in my tummy area. Oh darn. So much for looking all slim tomorrow. Haha.

a message to me in 2006

2005-12-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

I’m home alone on New Year’s Eve. At least this got me to thinking. Being alone on a celebratory night does that to you. To go into a New Year marks changes. Changes for the better. So this is a message, for me in 2006, to make this new year better than its predecessor, 2005.

I have to strive to make things better. Make myself better. Firstly, a situation such as this, being alone on New Year’s Eve, should be the last of it. I don’t know how to phrase this, but for the new beginning in 2006 I have to start putting myself out there. I have tried to pep talk myself this way so many times, I know. But the situation remains the same.

For me in 2006, don’t let your situation bring you down. There is no point in crying over things you are unhappy about but set out to make it right. Lying on your ass is not going to make anything happen. Neither do things happen overnight. A spur of the moment burst of life and enthusiasm from myself, which only lasts for that brief period, isn’t going to change anything either. It would make that period seem much better than others, but it can only last for that one period.

Strive to be a good girl. You know you want to, but you let other influences get in your way, or just your weak mind. Discipline is key, keep that strong and maybe you’ll be halfway to being the sweet, wholesome, good-hearted girl you want to be.

A little prayer for the New Year:

Lord, bless the New Year as it comes. I pray You’ll bring with it many good tidings to fill us all. Keep us safe and healthy and good for You Lord. May you fill us with Your love and care throughout this year, and Lord I pray we would be constantly filled with the longing for Your Word the year through. Thank You Lord. Bless this day and all the days to come. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

An end to a momentous chapter

2005-12-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

A little closing to a reasonably good year. College has been an interesting experience. Life has been reasonably good.

A few things that I'm glad about that came with 2005 is of course, Lee Jia Liang. A new beau in my life, a new person to share life with, a new person to care about. Jia Liang is one of the few things I'm glad about that came with going to college. He has been an unique addition to my everyday life, making the days go faster, and also phone bills higher.

Another thing I'm happy about that came with 2005 is my amazing journey with the Jalan Impian cast. I gained a whole family, complete with kids to watch over, sisters and brothers to share experiences with, and elders to gain knowledge from. Jalan Impian has truly been a milestone in my life.

In this year, Ah Khoo got married, so that's minus one singleton in the family, plus one family member. Another thing to be joyful for. Jun achieved 3 A's in his PMR. Another yay. Papa organized Maybank Visa's Golf Tourney, opening a new field for him in his work life. Mum is just as wonderful as ever, spending more time with her this year in shopping and such. Auntie Suan recently came back for 6 weeks, spent loads of time with Ah Ma and she's all healthy and hearty. Becky has grown up to be a cun chick, but still an adolescent at heart.

There are many things to be joyous and thankful about in 2005, and I'm anxiously waiting to see what 2006 will bring.

Xmas comes to Town

2005-12-09T00:31:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the recording of this year's Xmas show with the Jalan Impian cast. I'm so happy it's here, these events are so spectacular and I always have more fun in a day than I have in weeks. Everyone's a little happier, a little more smiley, laughter is constantly in the air, everyone is so light-hearted and cheery. Coupled with the spirit of Christmas, you got yourself a joyous wonderland.

I just love it all. Taking it all in, it just makes me ecstatic. The Jalan Impian cast is such a wonderful family. What's more, my sexy Santarina outfit makes the disappointment of dancing for only one song momentarily disappear. My fantasy of donning a Santarina outfit has finally come true. For once, my outfit rocks the socks of everyone. Yes!

On another note, exams are just around the corner and ready to hit me in the face. This exam is going to be way tougher and I cannot, repeat CANNOT literally afford to screw it up. There is no way to go around this. I have to head towards the dreaded grindstone. Oh the pain.

Today, had quite a good time in Mechanics class, though it was too early in the morning to be studying. Mazrah sat with me, and we had a lively chat about presents and Xmas. She was really a big help in suggestions for guy presents. I've have not had this kind of fun but "bad in a way that we are not paying attention to the lesson" talk with someone for a heck of a long time. It was actually quite refreshing. And on another happy note, had a good long overdue talk with Anusha today. Yes it was a good day.

Our big night

2005-09-11T00:37:00.000-07:00

The reason i'm starting this: 9th Sept 2005

my big night!
oh wait... Our big night...
there we were, the whole Nerd gang, celebrating JS's birthday at Good Evening Bangkok in 1u. Me enjoying my pineapple fried rice. And then all of a sudden Jia stands up and makes a toast to JS. He goes, " JS, thanks for everything, i know i've done many things that I regret, but I know I'll never regret the next thing I'm gonna do."

" As you all know, me and Mel are engaged "

Out comes out this beautiful ring in a heart shaped box... omg I felt so , so, lost for words. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, he just looked so perfect, my Jia, standing there smiling at me, holding that ring. The happiness I felt was beyond imagination. Simple as it was, it was the most romantic experience in my 18 years of existence. In the presence of friends, friends I know he loves, it was suddenly undeniable how much I mean to him. Though at times I have been doubtful, at that moment all I've ever anguished about was forgotten.

Then he carefully takes out the ring from the box. Holding my hand he fits it onto the finger. THE FINGER. Then, oh crap, the ring's too small. " Aiyah, fei por!"
Haha, that's my Jia. I try to squeeze the ring in, and yes it does go through. Though i can see the blobbing on my finger. We so have to get it resized.

After our whole romantic episode, we left 1u and headed for the Curve. Haha I made Jia go down on one knee near the fountain. Which was unfortunatelly turned off that night. But that stupid boy did it so like not romantic. Sheesh. Drinks and birthday song at Friday's. My Jia Jia red red wor. I'm so glad that he enjoyed himself that night. He kept saying, " I told you it would be a good night" and he was all smiles the whole time. He really deserves to enjoy, after all he hasnt' had a good couple of weeks. I so wish that night lasted forever. All in all, it was a fabulous night, and i'll never forget, the night Jia proposed again.