Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Second wind of freedom

So the holidays started more than a month ago, yet I decided to confine myself to an internship in KL.

Note: Internship. Not a holiday.

First couple of days I actually felt a wave of depression wash over me. Like there was no purpose to life, if what we're put on earth here for is mindless hours of being virtually human drones. I get home and I eat, shower, hang around the house a bit and tidur. Repeat process the next day.

I got used to it after that, and the ray of hope for me was the end of the internship drawing near so I got out of that initial depressive emo state fast. But imagine, when I graduate, that ray of hope doesn't exist. You can't wait for the work term to finish, there's no such thing. You stop working when you're old and retired. SO THAT'S IT FOR YOUR YOUTH? MY YOUTH ENDS AS SOON AS I GRADUATE? fantastic la. Enough to send anyone into depression right.

And sure people mumble stuff about " oh you still have weekendsm, after work, etc". I may be greedy or whatever, but no it's not enough. So after work, the few hours before sleep, that you call enough? Nope. You're shit tired, you have enough energy to eat and shower and maybe chill with your family before you pow kong.

I guess it really boils down to what you do and whether you enjoy doing it to give you a different form of satisfaction and joy in life not derived from fun/family/friends.

Being in an office; NOT FOR ME.

Can I please stop time to realise my dreams, no matter how silly they may seem to people, or how unreachable they are, I'm getting older and it seems like my life is destined to head towards decades of being in an office.

Anyway, second wave of freedom starts in half an hour. My internship ends today and now I can enjoy the real taste of freedom, possibly for one of the last few times. Goodbye internship!